As certain emotional issues have come up in my withdrawal process from prescription medications, I have wondered how best to deal with them.
A moderator for Point of Return, had mentioned at one point that we are not to delve into our emotional issues while in withdrawal but what if the issue is triggering you at the present time?
I've thought a lot about this since my underlying issues were caused from emotional trauma. I was constantly dealing with emotional interaction items which put additional stress on me and affected my drug taper.
I want to share some of the things I've learned about dealing with these issues. However I do want to reiterate what the moderator said about how it is best dealing with our emotional trauma after withdrawal if you can help it. I am only referring to emotional triggers that come up during withdrawal and how to better cope with them.
1. See the emotional interaction item for what it truly is.
When I was in marriage counseling I learned that we generally are attracted to people that will trigger us. “The Boundary Book” by by Leslie Frewin. It's natures way of helping us deal with our childhood issues. And who says God doesn't have a sense of humor LOL! So when we see our interaction item has a learning opportunity instead of fearing it and letting it overcome us (sending us for that bottle of relax) then we can take the time to understand it and heal from it instead of letting it control us & overtake us.
2. Write about it and talk with others
As I was able to write about it and talk through the issue I was able to see my emotional interaction item for what it truly was. I have always been able to trace my trigger back to a childhood event or situation. When I am able to recognize where it is coming from it loses it's power over me. So instead of being reactive I can be assertive. I can choose to see and do things differently because my understanding has changed. Ask yourself why am I feeling this way? Where is it coming from? What can I do now? How can I better deal with it when it comes up again? How can I protect myself and still love those involved?
3. Get the help and support you need
Once you recognize your emotional interaction item and where it is coming from you can gently communicate your concern and need to those around you. You may need a third party to help with this one. A counselor can offer a lot of insight, support and protection. This is especially helpful if the person that is triggering is not respecting you or your boundaries. A friend or family member that can offer a listening ear can also be helpful.
4. Have compassion towards those triggering us
When we see that the other person who has triggered us may be hurting as bad or worse than us, it changes how we deal with the situation. Understanding that they are not triggering us on purpose can be very liberating. Sometimes they are just reacting to their own childhood trauma or our re-activeness. Stepping back as a third party observer instead of being a second party participator will stop the cycle. We can then choose to love instead of react.
5. Go into it with a different perspective.
Have a sense of gratitude that we are able to have the opportunity to work through these issues.
If we were to go into every relationship with this new perspective, I think of how much pain would be eliminated. Communicating, understanding and respecting each others triggers with an understanding on how to better ease each others triggers rather than perpetuating them would make life a lot happier for everyone. So next time an emotional interaction item pops up in your face and you feel the anxiety coming on remind yourself that this is an opportunity to learn and grow and move past it. I kept going through the same situations over and over again and also had to keep dealing with the pain. Once I finally wrote about it and worked through it I could finally eliminate it. My kids triggered me this week ( I think God puts us in families so we have to get past these issues ha ha....I'm sure He's up there with a big bag of popcorn getting a kick out of us LOL!) and it really made me stop and have to deal with it. I wrote about it and wouldn't you know I was able to trace it back to my childhood. I called my mom and after talking to her I made a plan on how I was going to handle things differently since my love and logic tactics had failed me. I've noticed that once I work through an emotional interaction item or trigger I am able to cope so much better the next time it comes up. I come into the situation with knowledge and power over it instead of letting it have power over me.
I'm sure I have a long ways to go but at least I'm on the path heading in the right direction. I feel a lot more at peace and have far less interaction items coming up since I've been able to work past so many of them. My thinking is that if these things are staring us in the face we might as well deal with them instead of hurt from them. And let us resolve to let these opportunities heal us instead of take away our healing.
Happy healing everyone!!!
Following are some of the edited questions and answers. I could not copy all responses to due to confidentiality.
Does this mean that these people who trigger us are not people who we are truly meant to be in a relationship with, rather than people who we will be attracted to continuously (and erroneously) until we "learn our lesson"?
Wow! That is a great question. I think it depends on the circumstances. I think it could go either way. I believe anything can be worked out as long as there is lots of love & respect in the relationship. Sometimes people can find themselves in an unhealthy situation & its better to end it. I think its most important to always stay authentic & be true to your heart. Further more. I think as we become more aware of what is going on we can always make better choices whether it be a new relationship or an old one.
Right now my trigger is my mother-in-law. Any ideas on how to deal with that?
Well I moved 5 hrs from mine & it worked like a charm LOL! My ex mother-in-law was very controlling so I understand how hard it must be to be around the drama. I know I would not have been able to handle her during withdrawal. I had a few issues when she came into town...meltdowns but other than that I've been fine. There are certain topics I just don't go there with her.. I try to focus on what's going on with her & the family & steer the conversation to the positive. Its best to avoid those soft spots if at all possible. My friend had a meltdown the other day & was being irrational. She said somethings I could've really taken personally but I knew it had nothing to do with me. She was tired, and had just been traumatized by a friend. I knew she had just been triggered & needed to vent. In the past I would've really taken it to heart. So I completely detached myself emotionally from the situation, let her have her little fit, offered support and let it go. If I had been reactive it probably would've destroyed our friendship. But the next morning there was peace between us I would suggest praying for her & for the inspiration to know what to do to offer love and support in the way she needs. Do the best you can and know that it's enough. Let her take accountability for her end of things...then let it go & find peace within. I hope & pray things will heal between you .Let us know how things go. Its a tough situation for a lot of people & its always helpful to learn from each others
experiences.
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