In the introduction to Dr. Tom Cowan’s book, The Fourfold Path to Healing, written with co-authors Sally Fallon and Jaimen McMillan, Dr. Cowan points out that some patients heal and some don't even with the same treatment and care. He treated 10 women with female issues and all healed but three. The three eventually healed when they resolved their relationship issues or divorced. I can relate to this story. I tried everything under the sun to heal and finally am feeling better after I got divorced. When my ex-husband's negative energy left my space, I felt a lot of relief.
My mom became ill at 30 because of all the relationship trauma she had experienced throughout her life. I remember her telling me her doctor said it was an emotional illness caused by childhood neglect and verbal abuse from my dad. I repeated her mistake but am fixing it much sooner than she did thank goodness! I hope this helps those suffering to take a closer look at their relationships and get the help they need before it's too late. I waited way too long.
But there is more to it than just trauma. Self betrayal was also a factor. Putting myself in a position to deny my true authenticity killed my soul. Allowing myself to be in a marriage I didn't feel right about in the first place put me on a path of anxiety that led to further health problems. It can also be said that allowing oneself to remain in an unhealthy situation even if it was once authentic is one in the same. Putting oneself in a position to get your heart broken regularly is also self betrayal. Why did I choose to be in a relationship where I didn't feel authentic? Is was safe or so I thought. Why did cutting myself off from love feel safe? Because it was what I grew up with. It's what was familiar. I was terribly scared of men so when I became friends with a man who asked me to marry him I did not feel vulnerable and that was safer for me. We did not have any connection but a religious one. With no emotional connection or physical attraction, I was free to remain numb. Pushing away suitors I was actually interested in and felt right about was common place because I could not handle the feelings associated with my attraction for them. I felt the rejection would be too deep for me to handle so I would generally run the other direction even though they would be chasing. They would eventually give up to my disappointment, my heart would break and I would start the cycle over. I had rebounded onto my husband to be after one of these heart breaks and felt a safe friendship but I was not being true to my heart. Something just never felt right. There were too many differences and the lack of love, genuine compatibility and attraction stifled the friendship before the marriage even started. Having felt pressured to marry by him and our families I said I do with a heart full of doubt and anxiety. The relationship spiraled downward from there and my health with it.
In Linda Goodman's “Star Signs” She says “How many engineers dream of being physicians, and how many doctors dreams of being engineers? How many Scientists dream of being musicians? There are millions upon millions of men and women who are discontented, depressed, and unhappy square pegs in round holes. Whose talents, abilities and daydreams (in reality, the wise urgings of the higher self) are sadly mismatched with the way they earn their daily bread. It's a tragic waste of human happiness and joy, which are the birthright of every individual on earth.” The same goes for relationships. How many mismatched and misguided couples are out there suffering through there marriage when there is true joy to be found in true authenticity.
.
A counselor helped me discover that I was looking for meaning in my marriage. There was no meaning because we could not connect except for when it came to religion. I was so focused on my religious doctrines that I overlooked all the other important ones. I have come to realize how important it is to be not only spiritually attracted but also physically, emotionally and mentally as well. I was denying parts of my true self by putting myself in a place where there lacked true validation and oneness in these areas. Where there was a lacking in these areas, my husband decided to exercise control over me. He pushed on me his ideas of what he wanted me to be. I'm sure it went both ways. Each with unrealistic expectations of the other. What I discovered later that these expectations were not wrong for us to have they were just wrong for us to have them for each other. Our marriage counselor helped us to see this clearly right before the divorce and it has helped me be more aware that it's important to find a mate that meets or exceeds those expectations already. It's never fair to anyone to expect them to change for you. In “Emotional Sobriety” by Tian Dayton (www.tiandayton.com), he talks about how if a relationship feels good and you feel good endorphins you move towards that for a reason because it feels right. But if you feel bad around someone it is a sign to stay away. This described my marriage perfectly. I felt terrible emotionally and physically when I was married to him.
As I read Co-dependents no more by Melody Beattie (www.melodybeatie.com). I was reminded that I must become whole myself before entering another relationship. It is not those feelings that are wrong, it is allowing those feelings to lead me into a situation that is not healthy for me that is wrong. I was pretty excited to learn that I was already doing a lot of the self care. For me the biggest thing was getting untangled in the enmeshment with my ex-husband. After the divorce my freedom was natural and healing. In my case, I was just with the wrong relationship.
Tian Dayton says that our brain needs certain endorphins and opiates “natures drugs” to sustain us. I used to think this was a sign of co-dependency and weakness to except that kind of love but when I read this I allowed this belief to shift. It was the only way I could actually heal. Allowing myself to except the love around me and find hope again literally began to heal my brain. I noticed a profound difference once I was divorced. I not only eliminated the lack of love but was able to except the love God wanted to bless me with in return. Love for myself and the love of others God brought into my life. I was no longer trapped and this allowed me to finally love myself which was the greatest love of all. So truly I have concluded that love is truely the answer.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
The effects of Generational Nutritional Degeneration and Glutithione deficiency on Society and Families
Anger issues used to plague me and my family. It was such a mystery to me. Why was it so easy to just fly off the handle and even the smallest things? My dad, my grandpas, friends, strangers around me. Like a detective I have set out to find the answer starting my quest as a young adult searching through every self help book I might think helpful. Attending therapy and 12 programs, I relived, rehashed worked through, pounded out, let it go, relaxed through my childhood trauma and felt a little better but still didn't quite feel liberated from this enemy that had been with me since birth. With still no answers and prayer after prayer pleading for mental relief for my physical and mental anxieties, still no relief. I know the Lord was patiently waiting to let me figure things out on my own.
In 2006 my anxiety got so bad I could not breath. I landed in the hospital because it was beyond what I could handle. This was just the experience I need ed to help me find the missing path I had been looking for on my journey. Unable to find relief from my medications I turned to God in agony for relief from this monster that had over run my life. I immediately felt like I should go to the computer and search for answers.
I stumbled upon Point of Return which I wrote about in a previous post. For more details please visit http://www.pointofreturn.com/. I knew this was inspired. After two weeks on the supplements I began to calm down. Even though the medication seemed to cause aggression especially around my menstrual cycle and payday this led me to discover some physical and emotional vulnerabilities I needed to work through and be aware of. Once I figured out I had a major financial trigger with my husband at the time, I was able to keep calm around pay day. And even more so since my divorce, I have been a lot calmer about finances since I am no longer feeling controlled by him. Once my body had what it needed and I was able to set reasonable boundaries. I was able to keep calm.
So I have since discovered that there are two key components to anger issues: Glutithione deficiency and unresolved childhood trauma. Together they make quite a lethal combination.
So why is Glutithione so important?
Glutithione is a protein high in anti-oxidents that our bodies need to counter the free radicals in our bodies so we can generate new cells. Once our body runs out we must replenish the source. I believe our grandparents had a greater source of it then we do now and our children have even less. Why is this? I think there are multiple reasons for this. Not only do we have greater pollutents & chemicals in our environment, but our diets no longer consist of live food or raw meat and other animal products such as raw dairy. So there is greater strain on the body and less glutithione being put into the body. Plant sources of anti-oxidants actually cause more anxiety because they stimulate the adrenals so we really need them but we are unable to assimilate them properly and cause more anxiety. Glutithione helps all the other anti-oxidents work in harmony. http://www.pointofreturn.com/glutathione.html We also eat less fat or the wrong kind of fats that not only make it hard for the body to assimilate these anti-oxidants but without enough fat to break the fall, these powerful anti-oxidents can over stimulate our system and send us into a rampant detox thus causing the anxiety.
In an article at rawmilkfacts.com it states that milk pasteurization machines came online in the mid-1890s. Ultra-pasteurization started in 1948.”the ultimate goal in heat treating milk is the destruction of pathogenic or disease causing microbes...numerous studies have shown however that bad bugs are not the only thing destroyed by the heat: delicate proteins, enzymes, immune factors, hormones, vitamins, mineral availability – all undergo definite changes during the heating process.” So we are not assimilating those delicate proteins and other important nutrients and we certainly are not passing them onto our posterity. Without this and other healthy pro-biotic food our gut linings are left to deteriorate causing allergies and the inability to assimilate other vital nutrients. Now I am observing babies with their own oxygen tanks, children with growth and mental disorders, autoimmune disorders where the body tries find ways to nourish itself with nutrients within itself.
I have observed that protein in general slows down the adrenals and calms down my anxiety. My protein and Glutithione reserves are so depleted that I am at a point that without the Glutithone all other foods stimulate my adrenals so much that the fight and flight response overwhelmed my system. I believe ample protein is needed for our fight and flight response to work properly. Without it my brain feels raw like sandpaper grinding together.
Gluthione is also high in Vitamin B12. Also known as the “Happy” vitamin. This also comes from raw animal products as the vegetable version of B12 is hard to assimilate according to Sally Fallon's “Nourishing Traditions”
So generation after generation pasteurized milk, which is highly undigestable, has been at the helm of this depletion. The key is going back to drinking raw milk. However there are consequences for this generational practice. It is not easy for any of us to go back to drinking it. Our digestive systems cannot tolerate it. The process in which the glutithinone is made allows the milk to be cold processed and highly concentrated without certain un-digestable proteins and fats included, making it digestible for even the most sensitive such as myself. This process allows this undenatured whey protein to bypass the digestive system, a modern miracle indeed. This allows the muscles and organs to use it immediately and calm down the system.
I have not only been free of anxiety and agitation but I've also been able to think clearer, be calm and my stomach knots are gone. In isolated situations where the stress is beyond what I can handle, the RELAX which is concentrated milk decapitide (protein) calms down my system. A highly effective anti-anxiety natural remedy that I don't think any hospital or ambulance should be without. I look at my family history and have a whole new outlook on my father and grandfathers aggressive behaviors.
Then there is hormone imbalance. Hormones added to our meat and milk causing excess which I have observed causes aggression followed by burn out. High sex drive, aggression and then low to no sex drive, depression. I am speaking from personal experience. According to Sally Fallen, Hormones consist of iodine, healthy fats and animal protien. Refined (heated) vegetable oils block hormone production and are one of the leading causes of autoimmune disorders. Since proteins and all other foods are only assimilated with fat it is my theory refined vegetable depletes natural fats from our system the body must go to other sources for it's nutritional supply, itself.
Another factor involved is depleted foods such as refined salt, sugar, flours, refined oils, rice etc that overwhelm the system . I believe that minerals slow down the digestion process. The refining of these foods stimulates the adrenals and cause the Sodium and Gaba receptors to work overtime. This causes anxiety, bi-polar and other mental disorders. I noticed when my sodium was too high that I was more aggressive and would have panic attacks. My adrenals were on overdrive and it put a strain on my protein & fat reserves. According to Sally Fallon Sugar leaches the body of calcium and other vital nutrients. She also refers to all improperly prepared grains as anti-nutrients which does this as well. They are high in phytic acid, natures preservative, which is neutralized during the sprouting or fermenting process. The phytic acid binds with vitamins and minerals and pulls them out of our system.
So with all these odds against us, no wonder we are so stressed all of the time. The only solution to this process is resupplying our bodies of these vital nutrients. The Glutithione is key to our healing process as a society. I have also found Standard Process to be a helpful inexpensive source for animal based whole food supplements. Restoring our organs with vital organ meats and supplements as well as a diet rich in undenatured, properly processed and prepared foods. It's time to rise up as a nation and claim our rich agricultural heritage in order to save our posterity which is one generation shy of no longer existing. I see a time of healing and hope for those trapped in the clutches of anxiety, illness and neurological disorders. Our pain will move us as a country and our ancestors will be our guiding light. There is always something that can be done to bring the needed change. I foresee food manufacturing working for our good as we raise our voices for change. I see small changes already occurring as I have browsed the grocery store shelves.
I know that without my pain I would not have made the changes I have needed to make. I envy Dr. Cowan and Sally Fallon who have chosen to learn from the mistakes of others and live free of health problems. Who selflessly take the time to re-educate our society. I am in gratitude to God for inspiring Point of Returns Glutithione which gives us hope for the future.
In 2006 my anxiety got so bad I could not breath. I landed in the hospital because it was beyond what I could handle. This was just the experience I need ed to help me find the missing path I had been looking for on my journey. Unable to find relief from my medications I turned to God in agony for relief from this monster that had over run my life. I immediately felt like I should go to the computer and search for answers.
I stumbled upon Point of Return which I wrote about in a previous post. For more details please visit http://www.pointofreturn.com/. I knew this was inspired. After two weeks on the supplements I began to calm down. Even though the medication seemed to cause aggression especially around my menstrual cycle and payday this led me to discover some physical and emotional vulnerabilities I needed to work through and be aware of. Once I figured out I had a major financial trigger with my husband at the time, I was able to keep calm around pay day. And even more so since my divorce, I have been a lot calmer about finances since I am no longer feeling controlled by him. Once my body had what it needed and I was able to set reasonable boundaries. I was able to keep calm.
So I have since discovered that there are two key components to anger issues: Glutithione deficiency and unresolved childhood trauma. Together they make quite a lethal combination.
So why is Glutithione so important?
Glutithione is a protein high in anti-oxidents that our bodies need to counter the free radicals in our bodies so we can generate new cells. Once our body runs out we must replenish the source. I believe our grandparents had a greater source of it then we do now and our children have even less. Why is this? I think there are multiple reasons for this. Not only do we have greater pollutents & chemicals in our environment, but our diets no longer consist of live food or raw meat and other animal products such as raw dairy. So there is greater strain on the body and less glutithione being put into the body. Plant sources of anti-oxidants actually cause more anxiety because they stimulate the adrenals so we really need them but we are unable to assimilate them properly and cause more anxiety. Glutithione helps all the other anti-oxidents work in harmony. http://www.pointofreturn.com/glutathione.html We also eat less fat or the wrong kind of fats that not only make it hard for the body to assimilate these anti-oxidants but without enough fat to break the fall, these powerful anti-oxidents can over stimulate our system and send us into a rampant detox thus causing the anxiety.
In an article at rawmilkfacts.com it states that milk pasteurization machines came online in the mid-1890s. Ultra-pasteurization started in 1948.”the ultimate goal in heat treating milk is the destruction of pathogenic or disease causing microbes...numerous studies have shown however that bad bugs are not the only thing destroyed by the heat: delicate proteins, enzymes, immune factors, hormones, vitamins, mineral availability – all undergo definite changes during the heating process.” So we are not assimilating those delicate proteins and other important nutrients and we certainly are not passing them onto our posterity. Without this and other healthy pro-biotic food our gut linings are left to deteriorate causing allergies and the inability to assimilate other vital nutrients. Now I am observing babies with their own oxygen tanks, children with growth and mental disorders, autoimmune disorders where the body tries find ways to nourish itself with nutrients within itself.
I have observed that protein in general slows down the adrenals and calms down my anxiety. My protein and Glutithione reserves are so depleted that I am at a point that without the Glutithone all other foods stimulate my adrenals so much that the fight and flight response overwhelmed my system. I believe ample protein is needed for our fight and flight response to work properly. Without it my brain feels raw like sandpaper grinding together.
Gluthione is also high in Vitamin B12. Also known as the “Happy” vitamin. This also comes from raw animal products as the vegetable version of B12 is hard to assimilate according to Sally Fallon's “Nourishing Traditions”
So generation after generation pasteurized milk, which is highly undigestable, has been at the helm of this depletion. The key is going back to drinking raw milk. However there are consequences for this generational practice. It is not easy for any of us to go back to drinking it. Our digestive systems cannot tolerate it. The process in which the glutithinone is made allows the milk to be cold processed and highly concentrated without certain un-digestable proteins and fats included, making it digestible for even the most sensitive such as myself. This process allows this undenatured whey protein to bypass the digestive system, a modern miracle indeed. This allows the muscles and organs to use it immediately and calm down the system.
I have not only been free of anxiety and agitation but I've also been able to think clearer, be calm and my stomach knots are gone. In isolated situations where the stress is beyond what I can handle, the RELAX which is concentrated milk decapitide (protein) calms down my system. A highly effective anti-anxiety natural remedy that I don't think any hospital or ambulance should be without. I look at my family history and have a whole new outlook on my father and grandfathers aggressive behaviors.
Then there is hormone imbalance. Hormones added to our meat and milk causing excess which I have observed causes aggression followed by burn out. High sex drive, aggression and then low to no sex drive, depression. I am speaking from personal experience. According to Sally Fallen, Hormones consist of iodine, healthy fats and animal protien. Refined (heated) vegetable oils block hormone production and are one of the leading causes of autoimmune disorders. Since proteins and all other foods are only assimilated with fat it is my theory refined vegetable depletes natural fats from our system the body must go to other sources for it's nutritional supply, itself.
Another factor involved is depleted foods such as refined salt, sugar, flours, refined oils, rice etc that overwhelm the system . I believe that minerals slow down the digestion process. The refining of these foods stimulates the adrenals and cause the Sodium and Gaba receptors to work overtime. This causes anxiety, bi-polar and other mental disorders. I noticed when my sodium was too high that I was more aggressive and would have panic attacks. My adrenals were on overdrive and it put a strain on my protein & fat reserves. According to Sally Fallon Sugar leaches the body of calcium and other vital nutrients. She also refers to all improperly prepared grains as anti-nutrients which does this as well. They are high in phytic acid, natures preservative, which is neutralized during the sprouting or fermenting process. The phytic acid binds with vitamins and minerals and pulls them out of our system.
So with all these odds against us, no wonder we are so stressed all of the time. The only solution to this process is resupplying our bodies of these vital nutrients. The Glutithione is key to our healing process as a society. I have also found Standard Process to be a helpful inexpensive source for animal based whole food supplements. Restoring our organs with vital organ meats and supplements as well as a diet rich in undenatured, properly processed and prepared foods. It's time to rise up as a nation and claim our rich agricultural heritage in order to save our posterity which is one generation shy of no longer existing. I see a time of healing and hope for those trapped in the clutches of anxiety, illness and neurological disorders. Our pain will move us as a country and our ancestors will be our guiding light. There is always something that can be done to bring the needed change. I foresee food manufacturing working for our good as we raise our voices for change. I see small changes already occurring as I have browsed the grocery store shelves.
I know that without my pain I would not have made the changes I have needed to make. I envy Dr. Cowan and Sally Fallon who have chosen to learn from the mistakes of others and live free of health problems. Who selflessly take the time to re-educate our society. I am in gratitude to God for inspiring Point of Returns Glutithione which gives us hope for the future.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Healing Emotional Trauma
As certain emotional issues have come up in my withdrawal process from prescription medications, I have wondered how best to deal with them.
A moderator for Point of Return, had mentioned at one point that we are not to delve into our emotional issues while in withdrawal but what if the issue is triggering you at the present time?
I've thought a lot about this since my underlying issues were caused from emotional trauma. I was constantly dealing with emotional interaction items which put additional stress on me and affected my drug taper.
I want to share some of the things I've learned about dealing with these issues. However I do want to reiterate what the moderator said about how it is best dealing with our emotional trauma after withdrawal if you can help it. I am only referring to emotional triggers that come up during withdrawal and how to better cope with them.
1. See the emotional interaction item for what it truly is.
When I was in marriage counseling I learned that we generally are attracted to people that will trigger us. “The Boundary Book” by by Leslie Frewin. It's natures way of helping us deal with our childhood issues. And who says God doesn't have a sense of humor LOL! So when we see our interaction item has a learning opportunity instead of fearing it and letting it overcome us (sending us for that bottle of relax) then we can take the time to understand it and heal from it instead of letting it control us & overtake us.
2. Write about it and talk with others
As I was able to write about it and talk through the issue I was able to see my emotional interaction item for what it truly was. I have always been able to trace my trigger back to a childhood event or situation. When I am able to recognize where it is coming from it loses it's power over me. So instead of being reactive I can be assertive. I can choose to see and do things differently because my understanding has changed. Ask yourself why am I feeling this way? Where is it coming from? What can I do now? How can I better deal with it when it comes up again? How can I protect myself and still love those involved?
3. Get the help and support you need
Once you recognize your emotional interaction item and where it is coming from you can gently communicate your concern and need to those around you. You may need a third party to help with this one. A counselor can offer a lot of insight, support and protection. This is especially helpful if the person that is triggering is not respecting you or your boundaries. A friend or family member that can offer a listening ear can also be helpful.
4. Have compassion towards those triggering us
When we see that the other person who has triggered us may be hurting as bad or worse than us, it changes how we deal with the situation. Understanding that they are not triggering us on purpose can be very liberating. Sometimes they are just reacting to their own childhood trauma or our re-activeness. Stepping back as a third party observer instead of being a second party participator will stop the cycle. We can then choose to love instead of react.
5. Go into it with a different perspective.
Have a sense of gratitude that we are able to have the opportunity to work through these issues.
If we were to go into every relationship with this new perspective, I think of how much pain would be eliminated. Communicating, understanding and respecting each others triggers with an understanding on how to better ease each others triggers rather than perpetuating them would make life a lot happier for everyone. So next time an emotional interaction item pops up in your face and you feel the anxiety coming on remind yourself that this is an opportunity to learn and grow and move past it. I kept going through the same situations over and over again and also had to keep dealing with the pain. Once I finally wrote about it and worked through it I could finally eliminate it. My kids triggered me this week ( I think God puts us in families so we have to get past these issues ha ha....I'm sure He's up there with a big bag of popcorn getting a kick out of us LOL!) and it really made me stop and have to deal with it. I wrote about it and wouldn't you know I was able to trace it back to my childhood. I called my mom and after talking to her I made a plan on how I was going to handle things differently since my love and logic tactics had failed me. I've noticed that once I work through an emotional interaction item or trigger I am able to cope so much better the next time it comes up. I come into the situation with knowledge and power over it instead of letting it have power over me.
I'm sure I have a long ways to go but at least I'm on the path heading in the right direction. I feel a lot more at peace and have far less interaction items coming up since I've been able to work past so many of them. My thinking is that if these things are staring us in the face we might as well deal with them instead of hurt from them. And let us resolve to let these opportunities heal us instead of take away our healing.
Happy healing everyone!!!
Following are some of the edited questions and answers. I could not copy all responses to due to confidentiality.
Does this mean that these people who trigger us are not people who we are truly meant to be in a relationship with, rather than people who we will be attracted to continuously (and erroneously) until we "learn our lesson"?
Wow! That is a great question. I think it depends on the circumstances. I think it could go either way. I believe anything can be worked out as long as there is lots of love & respect in the relationship. Sometimes people can find themselves in an unhealthy situation & its better to end it. I think its most important to always stay authentic & be true to your heart. Further more. I think as we become more aware of what is going on we can always make better choices whether it be a new relationship or an old one.
Right now my trigger is my mother-in-law. Any ideas on how to deal with that?
Well I moved 5 hrs from mine & it worked like a charm LOL! My ex mother-in-law was very controlling so I understand how hard it must be to be around the drama. I know I would not have been able to handle her during withdrawal. I had a few issues when she came into town...meltdowns but other than that I've been fine. There are certain topics I just don't go there with her.. I try to focus on what's going on with her & the family & steer the conversation to the positive. Its best to avoid those soft spots if at all possible. My friend had a meltdown the other day & was being irrational. She said somethings I could've really taken personally but I knew it had nothing to do with me. She was tired, and had just been traumatized by a friend. I knew she had just been triggered & needed to vent. In the past I would've really taken it to heart. So I completely detached myself emotionally from the situation, let her have her little fit, offered support and let it go. If I had been reactive it probably would've destroyed our friendship. But the next morning there was peace between us I would suggest praying for her & for the inspiration to know what to do to offer love and support in the way she needs. Do the best you can and know that it's enough. Let her take accountability for her end of things...then let it go & find peace within. I hope & pray things will heal between you .Let us know how things go. Its a tough situation for a lot of people & its always helpful to learn from each others
experiences.
A moderator for Point of Return, had mentioned at one point that we are not to delve into our emotional issues while in withdrawal but what if the issue is triggering you at the present time?
I've thought a lot about this since my underlying issues were caused from emotional trauma. I was constantly dealing with emotional interaction items which put additional stress on me and affected my drug taper.
I want to share some of the things I've learned about dealing with these issues. However I do want to reiterate what the moderator said about how it is best dealing with our emotional trauma after withdrawal if you can help it. I am only referring to emotional triggers that come up during withdrawal and how to better cope with them.
1. See the emotional interaction item for what it truly is.
When I was in marriage counseling I learned that we generally are attracted to people that will trigger us. “The Boundary Book” by by Leslie Frewin. It's natures way of helping us deal with our childhood issues. And who says God doesn't have a sense of humor LOL! So when we see our interaction item has a learning opportunity instead of fearing it and letting it overcome us (sending us for that bottle of relax) then we can take the time to understand it and heal from it instead of letting it control us & overtake us.
2. Write about it and talk with others
As I was able to write about it and talk through the issue I was able to see my emotional interaction item for what it truly was. I have always been able to trace my trigger back to a childhood event or situation. When I am able to recognize where it is coming from it loses it's power over me. So instead of being reactive I can be assertive. I can choose to see and do things differently because my understanding has changed. Ask yourself why am I feeling this way? Where is it coming from? What can I do now? How can I better deal with it when it comes up again? How can I protect myself and still love those involved?
3. Get the help and support you need
Once you recognize your emotional interaction item and where it is coming from you can gently communicate your concern and need to those around you. You may need a third party to help with this one. A counselor can offer a lot of insight, support and protection. This is especially helpful if the person that is triggering is not respecting you or your boundaries. A friend or family member that can offer a listening ear can also be helpful.
4. Have compassion towards those triggering us
When we see that the other person who has triggered us may be hurting as bad or worse than us, it changes how we deal with the situation. Understanding that they are not triggering us on purpose can be very liberating. Sometimes they are just reacting to their own childhood trauma or our re-activeness. Stepping back as a third party observer instead of being a second party participator will stop the cycle. We can then choose to love instead of react.
5. Go into it with a different perspective.
Have a sense of gratitude that we are able to have the opportunity to work through these issues.
If we were to go into every relationship with this new perspective, I think of how much pain would be eliminated. Communicating, understanding and respecting each others triggers with an understanding on how to better ease each others triggers rather than perpetuating them would make life a lot happier for everyone. So next time an emotional interaction item pops up in your face and you feel the anxiety coming on remind yourself that this is an opportunity to learn and grow and move past it. I kept going through the same situations over and over again and also had to keep dealing with the pain. Once I finally wrote about it and worked through it I could finally eliminate it. My kids triggered me this week ( I think God puts us in families so we have to get past these issues ha ha....I'm sure He's up there with a big bag of popcorn getting a kick out of us LOL!) and it really made me stop and have to deal with it. I wrote about it and wouldn't you know I was able to trace it back to my childhood. I called my mom and after talking to her I made a plan on how I was going to handle things differently since my love and logic tactics had failed me. I've noticed that once I work through an emotional interaction item or trigger I am able to cope so much better the next time it comes up. I come into the situation with knowledge and power over it instead of letting it have power over me.
I'm sure I have a long ways to go but at least I'm on the path heading in the right direction. I feel a lot more at peace and have far less interaction items coming up since I've been able to work past so many of them. My thinking is that if these things are staring us in the face we might as well deal with them instead of hurt from them. And let us resolve to let these opportunities heal us instead of take away our healing.
Happy healing everyone!!!
Following are some of the edited questions and answers. I could not copy all responses to due to confidentiality.
Does this mean that these people who trigger us are not people who we are truly meant to be in a relationship with, rather than people who we will be attracted to continuously (and erroneously) until we "learn our lesson"?
Wow! That is a great question. I think it depends on the circumstances. I think it could go either way. I believe anything can be worked out as long as there is lots of love & respect in the relationship. Sometimes people can find themselves in an unhealthy situation & its better to end it. I think its most important to always stay authentic & be true to your heart. Further more. I think as we become more aware of what is going on we can always make better choices whether it be a new relationship or an old one.
Right now my trigger is my mother-in-law. Any ideas on how to deal with that?
Well I moved 5 hrs from mine & it worked like a charm LOL! My ex mother-in-law was very controlling so I understand how hard it must be to be around the drama. I know I would not have been able to handle her during withdrawal. I had a few issues when she came into town...meltdowns but other than that I've been fine. There are certain topics I just don't go there with her.. I try to focus on what's going on with her & the family & steer the conversation to the positive. Its best to avoid those soft spots if at all possible. My friend had a meltdown the other day & was being irrational. She said somethings I could've really taken personally but I knew it had nothing to do with me. She was tired, and had just been traumatized by a friend. I knew she had just been triggered & needed to vent. In the past I would've really taken it to heart. So I completely detached myself emotionally from the situation, let her have her little fit, offered support and let it go. If I had been reactive it probably would've destroyed our friendship. But the next morning there was peace between us I would suggest praying for her & for the inspiration to know what to do to offer love and support in the way she needs. Do the best you can and know that it's enough. Let her take accountability for her end of things...then let it go & find peace within. I hope & pray things will heal between you .Let us know how things go. Its a tough situation for a lot of people & its always helpful to learn from each others
experiences.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Healing Trauma - Everything else may be just a bandaid
One of many of my important discoveries has been that I can heal from Trauma. As I read Peter A. Levine's book "Waking the Tiger", I learned that Trauma is the root of my illness and always has been. At one point in my healing process I realized with the guidance of my counselor that I was receiving secondary gains by holding onto my illness. I never understood what "secondary gains" meant until I finally got it. I was getting the love and attention I needed by subjecting myself to a lot of pain and misery. Logically I couldn't believe how stupid that sounded. Go through misery to get love. Why not heal and get the love I want by asking for it in a way that would prove fruitful.
Reading the healing stories of those who had undergone Somatic Experiencing filled me with hope that I could heal too. I realized that my panic attacks in the car were just my bodies way of trying to relive the trauma so I could finish the healing process. Animals are rarely traumatized. They fight, flight or freeze. When they fight or flight and are safe the rush of adrenaline calms them down and makes them feel energized, good, and at peace. When they freeze, if the animal gets into a safe position it allows itself to continue the same process until it feels energized and calm. We can experience similar experiences when we have a brush with death. I remember getting out of a near car accident and after the danger had passed I felt that energetic rush and then the calm. This is how you know you are not traumatized. Your instinctual brain is allowed to flow freely just like that of an animal.
Now has humans, since we have a logic brain, we tend to override the instinctual brain with logic and when we freeze, which is very common, we hold onto the trauma and it continues to play out in our lives over again until we are able to let it go and move through it.
When a Tiger chases an animal at 50 mph and that animal freezes to protect itself. That animal's energy is still going 50 mph. When it is safe for the animal to get up and shakes and runs off the energy it can then be free of trauma.
When we go through a traumatic experience such as a car accident, fall, surgery etc. our bodies are giving off energy in the form of adrenaline and maybe even emotion. That energy keeps on flowing until we finish our run. This energy shows up as unexplained anxiety or panic attacks, agoraphobia, illness etc.
I loved the story in Peter's book about a lady who had a major panic attack in his office while in therapy. He took her through a somatic experience where her legs began to involuntarily move while running from imaginary danger. She shook and experience uncomfortable sensations and finally felt the exhilaration of release and calm. She never had another panic attack again. This gave me hope that I could heal from my panic attacks in the car and that I could regain my health.
I realized at that point that every thing I was doing; from breathing and relaxation exercises, as well as proper nutrition, avoidance of environmental toxins, and everything else would aid in my bodies healing. But if I didn't get to the root, I would continue to get back out of balance. I would be reliant on internal and external resources to keep me from falling apart again.
My perspective has changed dramatically since I read "Waking the Tiger". Healing my trauma is the most important thing I could do and everything else is just a tool in healing the negative physical effects trauma has had on me. How I deal with trauma in the future is how I will stay healthy. I'm grateful to my counselor for recommending this book and being able to help me with Somatic experiencing. It's been working great!
Reading the healing stories of those who had undergone Somatic Experiencing filled me with hope that I could heal too. I realized that my panic attacks in the car were just my bodies way of trying to relive the trauma so I could finish the healing process. Animals are rarely traumatized. They fight, flight or freeze. When they fight or flight and are safe the rush of adrenaline calms them down and makes them feel energized, good, and at peace. When they freeze, if the animal gets into a safe position it allows itself to continue the same process until it feels energized and calm. We can experience similar experiences when we have a brush with death. I remember getting out of a near car accident and after the danger had passed I felt that energetic rush and then the calm. This is how you know you are not traumatized. Your instinctual brain is allowed to flow freely just like that of an animal.
Now has humans, since we have a logic brain, we tend to override the instinctual brain with logic and when we freeze, which is very common, we hold onto the trauma and it continues to play out in our lives over again until we are able to let it go and move through it.
When a Tiger chases an animal at 50 mph and that animal freezes to protect itself. That animal's energy is still going 50 mph. When it is safe for the animal to get up and shakes and runs off the energy it can then be free of trauma.
When we go through a traumatic experience such as a car accident, fall, surgery etc. our bodies are giving off energy in the form of adrenaline and maybe even emotion. That energy keeps on flowing until we finish our run. This energy shows up as unexplained anxiety or panic attacks, agoraphobia, illness etc.
I loved the story in Peter's book about a lady who had a major panic attack in his office while in therapy. He took her through a somatic experience where her legs began to involuntarily move while running from imaginary danger. She shook and experience uncomfortable sensations and finally felt the exhilaration of release and calm. She never had another panic attack again. This gave me hope that I could heal from my panic attacks in the car and that I could regain my health.
I realized at that point that every thing I was doing; from breathing and relaxation exercises, as well as proper nutrition, avoidance of environmental toxins, and everything else would aid in my bodies healing. But if I didn't get to the root, I would continue to get back out of balance. I would be reliant on internal and external resources to keep me from falling apart again.
My perspective has changed dramatically since I read "Waking the Tiger". Healing my trauma is the most important thing I could do and everything else is just a tool in healing the negative physical effects trauma has had on me. How I deal with trauma in the future is how I will stay healthy. I'm grateful to my counselor for recommending this book and being able to help me with Somatic experiencing. It's been working great!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
More on Point of Return a discovery well worth every cent!
Trying to find ways to taper off my Ativan and go onto an anti-depressant was the goal my Doctor and I had set. But this was very difficult. The first taper was unbearable...by day four I was having constant severe panic attacks and was trembling, had lost my appetite and was exhibiting all the symptoms I had had that led me to the hospital in the first place. I felt a pressure in my head and like I was going to lose control of my body. I immediately went back onto my full dose of Ativan again. I tried Zoloft but only on a 12.5 ml dose a day because my Dr. and I realized I was highly sensitive to any change. This was to raise the Serotonin levels in my brain in order to withdraw from my Ativan with less withdrawals. However...I was aggressive one moment and emotionally depressed and crying the next. When I hit the suicidal stage I was taken off of it immediately. My next option was Prozac. He said we could keep trying different meds until we found one that worked for me. This meant, you will suffer until you find one that works for you. I opted for the option of going up on my Trileptal and then down on my Ativan. Since going up on the Trileptal caused withdrawal symptoms I realized my options of going up or down and getting off were slim to none. After one more miserable try of withdrawing from the Ativan I gave up. In desperation I pleaded for God to help me find a solution to my problem. After this prayer I felt like I should go online and search under Ativan withdrawals. This same day I found Point of Return. I cried for joy knowing I had found the answer to my prayer. I felt hope for the first time since I started my meds.
I started my Point of Return program at the end of May 2009. After a two week adjustment period I began to feel energy flow back into my body. Since I had reached a tolerance level and did not want to go up on my Ativan I had felt weak and more anxious. With POR I could do more and felt like it was making up for the difference that my medications could not (unless I went up). I enjoyed a greater freedom from agoraphobia and could drive more freely and more often at greater distances.
What is Point of Return? It is four whole food supplements that gives your body what it needs most. 1) Glutithion is the body's #1 needed antioxidant and it feeds every part of the brain and body. My body was highly depleted of this wonderful food that helps my body detoxify and re balance my brain chemistry. It SUPPORTS my body and helps my immune system 2) fish oil; highly concentrated and of the purist form, another necessary brain food that helps my MOOD 3) Melatonin made from tart cherries which stimulates natural melatonin and serotonin production. This helps me to SLEEP better. 4) RELAX is a food that helps me to relax and does not interfere with my Ativan. I can take it as much as I need to relax and help me to sleep. None of these supplements interfere with my medications and they give me the support I need to balance out so my body can heal itself.
Things I have noticed since I started taking this;
More energy
Weight loss
Less Anxiety
Heart is calm and regulated
Streanth
Better sleep
No painful withdrawals from Ativan taper
Week one of Ativan Taper:
The first two days I needed to go up on some products to make my taper more comfortable. The POR staff helped me to make the necessary adjustments. This week I chalked it up as a learning experience that was positive. I'm withdrawing 5% per week with the help of a compounding pharmacy and am amazed at how well I feel. I have hit a few minor snags that like I said were taken care of by a kind and loving support group at POR. I love their motto, if you are feeling bad then you are doing something wrong! I think in regards to illness this can be said Universally...when we get sick it's our bodies way of telling us, you are doing something wrong here it's time to make some changes. With point of return, it's add this, tweak that and vwala RELIEF!!!!!!!! I love it! I feel like I've discovered a Gold Mine but I don't want to keep it a secret! Until next week!
I started my Point of Return program at the end of May 2009. After a two week adjustment period I began to feel energy flow back into my body. Since I had reached a tolerance level and did not want to go up on my Ativan I had felt weak and more anxious. With POR I could do more and felt like it was making up for the difference that my medications could not (unless I went up). I enjoyed a greater freedom from agoraphobia and could drive more freely and more often at greater distances.
What is Point of Return? It is four whole food supplements that gives your body what it needs most. 1) Glutithion is the body's #1 needed antioxidant and it feeds every part of the brain and body. My body was highly depleted of this wonderful food that helps my body detoxify and re balance my brain chemistry. It SUPPORTS my body and helps my immune system 2) fish oil; highly concentrated and of the purist form, another necessary brain food that helps my MOOD 3) Melatonin made from tart cherries which stimulates natural melatonin and serotonin production. This helps me to SLEEP better. 4) RELAX is a food that helps me to relax and does not interfere with my Ativan. I can take it as much as I need to relax and help me to sleep. None of these supplements interfere with my medications and they give me the support I need to balance out so my body can heal itself.
Things I have noticed since I started taking this;
More energy
Weight loss
Less Anxiety
Heart is calm and regulated
Streanth
Better sleep
No painful withdrawals from Ativan taper
Week one of Ativan Taper:
The first two days I needed to go up on some products to make my taper more comfortable. The POR staff helped me to make the necessary adjustments. This week I chalked it up as a learning experience that was positive. I'm withdrawing 5% per week with the help of a compounding pharmacy and am amazed at how well I feel. I have hit a few minor snags that like I said were taken care of by a kind and loving support group at POR. I love their motto, if you are feeling bad then you are doing something wrong! I think in regards to illness this can be said Universally...when we get sick it's our bodies way of telling us, you are doing something wrong here it's time to make some changes. With point of return, it's add this, tweak that and vwala RELIEF!!!!!!!! I love it! I feel like I've discovered a Gold Mine but I don't want to keep it a secret! Until next week!
Friday, July 10, 2009
My Fourth discovery....The "Anxiety and Phobia Workbook"
My fourth major discovery was the "Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" The 4th edition. This was more of a rediscovery. A friend of mine who was a counselor, social worker and professor suggested I read the book. I had bought it but was so anxious I couldn't calm down to relax. I found the book helpful in understanding my panic attacks but I needed physiological and medical help to be able to apply the exercises. I was too wound up and not open to taking any medications. The edition I had didn't have the natural suggestions, However, I had tried 5-htp, Gabba and Seredyn but they caused me more problems than helped. My medical doctor recommended it and suggested that I deal with my "tigers: and I would heal. I love this workbook because it covers so many aspects of anxiety. It confirmed my other and gave me so many helpful exercises that have helped my meds to work better and for me to make some exciting changes and discoveries. I was on my meds for a year without having to go up. I give this workbook alot of credit for this. I work in it everyday and feel so supported and hopeful that I can and will heal. The author and psychologist Edmun J. Bourne, PH.D, himself recovered from a similar illness. It's so nice to have the perspective of a professional, in the Field of anxiety and stress, that has trodden a path to healing for those of us to follow. He explains brain function and how panic and anxiety works, he teaches how to breath and relax, cope with panic and overcome panic and phobias, Overcome negative self-talk and mistaken beliefs. He addresses self-esteem and ways to nurture yourself, live your dreams and be more connected spiritually. He also covers issues on nutrition, Prescription meds and natural alternatives, and Anxiety triggering health conditions such as PMS, Andrenal Exhaustion, Thyroid, Candidas, Allergies, Hypoglycemia etc. Having this resource has aided me in my slow 5% tapering process from my Ativan. I've been more relaxed and rested. I'm dealing with the underlining reasons for my anxiety and illness which takes off so much stress from my body. This book has been a must have and has sped up my healing light years.
My third discovery....if I had it to do over I would have...
My third discovery was prescription medications and that I did not like them. However, it was the best discovery for the crises I was in. Failure to thrive, severe chemical and hormonal imbalance and adrenal exhaustion. The meds would control my hyper-anxiety and panic. When taking the ativan I could eat what ever I wanted with exception of sugar, chocolate, white flour, and dairy. It was so nice to be able to eat carrots, eggs, chicken, and so many other foods I had been without for so long. I found that with a healthy variety of nutrition, my meds were more effective. So what of food allergies? When my brain chemistry was balanced there were no allergies or they were being covered up by the meds? It still is a mystery and a question lurking in the back of my mind waiting to be answered. I took my trileptal for to stabilize my mood and my marriage began to heal. My husband had a new stable job and our finances were tight but stable. I found support from my new Church family and I began to adjust to my new home. I found a kind expressive therapist who helped me more in one session than in my 12 years if counseling combined. I found that if I rested enough, got good sleep, and paced myself I could do the morning dishes and one load of laundry and then take a long break. I could make dinner and spend time with the family. I could drive further and further and around town with ease. I began to get my life back. I did have a lot of ups and downs with various Dr and med changes. I finally leveled out but still could physically do so little. I could not make commitments of any sort because of the pressure and stress it would bring me. I had to learn how to slow down, relax and give quiet service which helped a lot. Days I would overload myself, I would relapse and it would take several down days to regain my strength and level out. I began doing Tia Chi for 10 minutes and worked my way up to 20 to 30 minutes a day over a months time. This was the only exercise I could do without stressing my body out. Anything else was way too strenuous and would make me sick for days. My conclusion was that I had a sever chemical imbalance caused from a multitude of things ranging from childhood trauma, post traumatic stress, unmet needs, poor nutrition, negative thinking, lack of exercise, and the molds and chemicals, With financial and marriage stress added to the picture these were just the finals straws that sent my body into a downward spiral and it couldn't take anymore. If I had it to do over I would have skipped the meds and gone straight to Point of Return. The meds caused a lot of emotional pain and were highly unpredictable. I was reliant on them. That in and of itself was very scary. But now that I've had this horrendous experience I can warn others first hand....This is not a place you want to go and there are other options. I understand that medications are important and have helped alot of people including me at a very critical time. I am grateful to the caring and helpful Medical Doctors who have led me through my healing process. They were there when I needed immediate critical help.
I've had a lot of emotional pain over the course of my life but nothing holds a candle to the pain I experienced in one moment of side effects and terrible withdraws from the medications. Point of return (whole food supplements I'm on now) would have enabled my body to heal and balance itself without having to go through a medication and tapering withdrawal process. I would have saved myself a lot of pain,time and money if I had done this before I hit my crises. Prevention is the key here. But sometimes it takes a major crises to help us and our loved ones wake up and take action. Instead I'm in here for the long haul and will be off my meds in about a year. For more information on Point of Return visit: wwwpointofreturn.com
I've had a lot of emotional pain over the course of my life but nothing holds a candle to the pain I experienced in one moment of side effects and terrible withdraws from the medications. Point of return (whole food supplements I'm on now) would have enabled my body to heal and balance itself without having to go through a medication and tapering withdrawal process. I would have saved myself a lot of pain,time and money if I had done this before I hit my crises. Prevention is the key here. But sometimes it takes a major crises to help us and our loved ones wake up and take action. Instead I'm in here for the long haul and will be off my meds in about a year. For more information on Point of Return visit: wwwpointofreturn.com
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